When I was first diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes as a 10 year old, my doctor told me I could still live a normal life: take showers in the morning, go to school, etc. He sent me on my way to the hospital where I learned that my normal life would consist of shots, counting carbs, poking myself, and not eating my favorite foods anymore (this was back in the day of the strict meal plans where you had "1 starch, 1 fruit, and 2 proteins" for a meal and gave insulin exactly 30 minutes before your first bite, etc.) I remember years in junior high of sneaking candy bars and making cookie dough while my mom was gone, and hiding candy in one of my drawers that I would snarf down much to quickly thinking "I'll show my body who's boss!" Now, having just passed my 16 year mark, and a bit more mature about the whole diabetes thing, I can safely say I've been able to continue on with that "normal life" dream (although what is "normal" anyway?). I graduated from high school and college, became a teacher, got married to the most perfect person for me imaginable, been very active in my church, and have pursued hobbies galore. I even plan to have kids and know it's possible for me to do so if I do things right. I can also say that diabetes has made me a better person, as anything hard that you work to overcome does. But as any diabetic or one who's close to a diabetic knows, there are a lot of daily things that a diabetic deals with. I can only speak for myself on this, but having diabetes requires a lot of thinking. Thinking about the happenings of your day, and how they will affect your blood sugar....or in the event of one of those happenings, your blood sugar limits your capacity to make anything happen at all. It can be frustrating. I hesitate to complain at all about having diabetes, however, because I know that things could always be worse. There are a lot of diseases that are much more painful and destructive, and so I often consider myself lucky when I hear about them. Diabetes for me is a difficult thing I've had to deal with but it hasn't, nor will it ever be something that keeps me from living a fulfilling life.
I decided to start this blog mostly for my own sake. Because I want healthy children, I have become extremely serious about getting my Alc down. Right now I'm somewhere between 6 and 6.5 (I'm going in for the next check on July 1). But I have hopes to get in the mid-5 range. I plan on getting on a pump and CGM soon which I know is going to demand a lot of emotional energy. So this will be my outlet I guess: a diabetes journal of sorts. And if anyone else stumbles upon this blog who is also dealing with some of the same things and we can learn from eachother, that would be the icing on the cake.
Right now I've been sitting in the 300's all morning and have given insulin to fix it 3 times. I'm drinking TONS of water and just can't seem to get down. I had great plans for my morning: mopping the floor, cleaning the office, doing laundry, vacuuming. And most mornings I probably would have pushed through and tried to ignore feeling sick. But now that my sugars have been so much better recently, being in the 300's has really felt debilitating. I don't know if I'm the only diabetic this happens to, but there are some days (not too often, but enough to notice a pattern) where I will wake up above 300 and I give insulin to come down, and I'll test maybe an hour later and nothing's changed. So I give insulin again, test later, and AGAIN, no change (the change is about 10-15 mg/dl higher or lower than the previous test). Extremely frustrated, I'll give insulin again thinking, "Does this stuff even work?" and then maybe 2-4 hours later I'll be fighting a low that lasts the better part of the afternoon. How annoying is that? I mean, really? Anyway, I've surrendered and decided I may as well make a day of it and watch the French Open. Luckily I don't have anything really pressing, like work or kids, to force expending energy. I hope getting a pump and CGM will make this phenomenon extinct.
I suppose this is also a bit of a shout-out: Has anyone else had this happen to them? Is there any explanation?
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